


The One Where The Crew is on "Family Feud"

by ussmckirk



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-14
Updated: 2014-04-14
Packaged: 2018-01-19 09:35:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,880
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1464493
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ussmckirk/pseuds/ussmckirk
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Not everyone had been thrilled when Starfleet ordered the Enterprise’s senior crew to take part in a Celebrity Week taping of Family Fued. In fact, when Jim had informed Spock, Uhura, Chekov, and Leonard that they’d be joining him on the long-running game show’s panel, the doctor had barked out, “Dammit Jim! I’m a doctor, not a game show contestant!”</p>
            </blockquote>





	The One Where The Crew is on "Family Feud"

The One Where The Crew is on Family Feud

 

-  
Not everyone had been thrilled when Starfleet ordered the Enterprise’s senior crew to take part in a Celebrity Week taping of Family Fued. In fact, when Jim had informed Spock, Uhura, Chekov, and Leonard that they’d be joining him on the long-running game show’s panel, the doctor had barked out, “Dammit Jim! I’m a doctor, not a game show contestant!”

Jim, though, had been looking forward to the Family Feud taping all month. He had fond memories of watching the show on mornings when he’d stayed home sick or played hooky from school. Besides, though he’d never admit to it, there was something very validating about being asked to be part of a show meant for actual blood-relation families with the members of crew. He considered his senior staff to be his honorary family, and to have both Starfleet and some random television executive reflect that belief by putting them on the show as one meant a lot.

It was kind of surreal to be standing on the familiar set and Jim couldn’t help but grin widely as the familiar Family Feud theme song began blaring in the studio. He looked to his left and took stock of his team: Bones had his arms crossed tightly across his chest (Jim most certainly did not pause to admire how the pose stretched the other man’s shirt taut across his upper body) and was sporting one of his classic bitchfaces. When he saw how Jim was bouncing slightly on his heels like an overexcited puppy, he rolled his eyes in exasperation, but couldn’t quite keep the corners of his lips from curving upward. Spock was standing stoically next to the doctor, his hands clasped behind his back in his typical stance. Uhura was smiling calmly, somehow managing to look graceful and regal amidst the gaudy decor of the game show’s soundstage. Poor Chekov just looked terrified, eyes more Bambi-like than usual. Jim had realized just how nervous the kid was about being on the show when he’d failed to take the opportunity to claim that game shows ‘Vere invented in Russia!’ Unfortunately, Starfleet thought parading the young protege around would help them appeal to the youth demographic, or he would've brought Sulu instead. 

Catching Chekov’s gaze as the Feud’s host began the show, addressing the camera as he introduced the two celebrity teams, Jim gave the navigator a reassuring nod and was pleased to see the tension that had been visible in Chekov’s expression ease a bit.

"And now, let’s meet our teams!!!!"

Jim snapped to attention as the Andorian host of the show approached, trying to charm both the antennaed woman and camera as he introduced his team in the show’s intro. From the laughs of the studio audience when he joked that he was just glad the opposing team wasn’t made up of Klingons, he’d succeeded.

There was a few minutes for Jim’s adrenaline to really get flowing as the host moved to introduce the other team. Soon, enough, though, the Andorian was announcing, “And now, let’s play the Feuuuuddd!!!”

As the captain of both their Family Feud team and, of course, the Enterprise, Jim was up first for the initial face-off with the opposition.

"Captain Kirk, Governer Lu, are you ready to play?!" The host asked his two contestants brightly.

Jim flexed his hand and wiggled his fingers as he approached the podium at the center of the soundstage. Oh, yeah, he was ready. This might just be a silly game show, but Jim always played to win. And the way Jim figured it, this part of the game was all about speed and agility. The host would ask him and the other team’s captain a question, and the first person who hit the buzzer placed between the two, would get to answer first. It was the players who paused to think about the question before making their move who always lost. For the type of questions asked on the show, the first thing that popped into your head was usually the best answer anyway. All Jim had to do was hit the buzzer as quickly as possible and trust his instincts.

Jim shook his hands out so they were nice and loose, confident that he would hit that buzzer first. After all, it was an indisputable fact that he had the reflexes of a freaking ninja.

The host’s antennae flicked forward as Jim and his opponent stood at the ready. “We asked 100 people the following question. Top five answers are on the board.” The host paused for dramatic emphasis before reading from the card in his hand. “What is something you might say to your doctor?”

Jim’s hand shot out with lightning speed and, as soon as he heard his buzzer sound, he blurted out the first thing that came to mind. ”I’m in love with you!”

*******************************

Leonard had heard the expression 'you could hear a pin drop' before, but had always assumed it to be hyperbole. Apparently, though, he'd been wrong, because you certainly would have been able to hear a pin drop in the studio at that moment.

Feeling like the proverbial rug had just been pulled out from under him, Leonard was certain he must have misheard what Jim had said. But as he glanced around himself, wild-eyed, he could see that his state of shock was shared by his teammates and knew that he hadn't. Uhura's typically unflappable expression was looking downright flapped, her lips parted into a tiny 'o' shape, and Chekov's eyes were bugged out like something from a cartoon. And though Spock's expression had maintained its usual blankness, it looked to Leonard like the vulcan's eyebrows were poised slightly higher on his forehead than they normally were.

From the way the show's host and the members of the opposite team kept looking from Jim to him and back again, it was clear that everyone knew exactly what doctor Jim had meant his answer for.

Jim was in love with him? Leonard's mind raced and seemed to stall all at once. Jim couldn't be in love with him. That was impossible. Jim had never said anything even remotely to that effect. He'd never given any indication that--

Oh.

_Oh._

Suddenly a dozen different instances from their first year at the Academy flashed through Leonard's mind. Jim looking over at him and teasingly asking, "Wanna make out, Bones?" as they flopped down on the couch to watch a movie together. Jim drunkenly proclaiming that Bones was 'his favorite!' as they staggered back to the dorms together after a night out. Jim jokingly asking why they hadn't gone on a date yet and mockingly putting his hand over his heart with a melodramatic, "Bones, you wound me!" when Leonard had muttered an irritated, "Shut up, you jackass" in answer.

And Leonard had been irritated that year by Jim's constant flirting and teasing. Not because he didn't like Jim's attentions, lingering touches and little innuendos, but because he had liked them just a bit too much. Leonard had never blamed Jim. It's not like he knew how Bones felt and was trying to mess around with his feelings. Leonard was sure it had never even occurred to Jim that Bones might see him in that light. After all, who would think that someone as bright and vibrant and beautiful as Jim could ever be interested in a bitter old divorcee who drank too much and smiled too little?

Regardless of Jim's lack of cruel intent, Leonard just couldn't take Jim's flirting when he knew that the kid was only playing around and didn't really mean any of it. Not the way that Leonard wanted him to.

So, every time Jim said something about how nice his scrubs made his ass look or asked, with a wink, if he should put out when they finally got around to going on their first date, Leonard had huffed and griped and scowled until the brat had finally knocked it off. The flirting, the come-ons, the playful remarks had all stopped by the end of second semester.

Once they had, Leonard had been simultaneously relieved and disappointed; he'd been trying for the past four years to convince himself he felt more of the former than of the latter.

And now it looked as if maybe Jim had meant it all along. That he'd never been playing a game at all. Jim, Leonard slowly realized, had just been trying to Bones how he felt in the only way he knew how--through over-the-top come-ons and flirtatious pick-up lines.

And whether he'd meant to or not, Leonard had rejected Jim's clumsy declarations of affection. The fact that Jim had stopped--that he'd never said anything even remotely suggestive to Bones again--meant that he'd taken Leonard's brush-offs as repudiations of what he'd thought he'd been making clear instead of seeing that the dismissals were simply Bones' attempt to save face and protect what little of his heart he could.

Well, fuck.

Leonard huffed out a half-hysterical laugh as it sunk in that, for a couple of supposed geniuses, he and Jim really were a special kind of stupid. 

_"I'm in love with you!"_

Leonard felt a rush of affection as, Jim's declaration echoing through his mind, he looked at the man who he'd come to love more than his own life.

Still standing in the middle of the sound stage, Jim was currently frozen in place, face turning an incredible shade of red as a look of absolute horror crossed his features.

A look of horror that warred with embarrassment, fear and pure vulnerability as Jim abruptly turned and locked eyes with Bones. Jim resembled a cornered animal, trapped and desperate to flee. He looked like a child who expected to be yelled at for knocking over a glass of milk.

He looked like someone who thought he'd just lost his best friend.

Leonard suddenly wanted to bark at everyone around them to quit their damn gaping and shut their traps 'fore they started catching flies. Couldn't they see that Jim was mortified? He didn't need a bunch of onlookers staring at him with their mouths opening and closing like a bunch of stupid fish who couldn't catch their breath?

Jesus. Poor kid. Only Jim would announce he was in love with his best friend in front of a large studio audience and millions of viewers at home. 

Leo sighed. Well, maybe not the only one. If it helped to ease Jim's embarrassment, Leonard was more than willing to sacrifice a bit of his dignity and make a fool of himself, too.

It was time for Leonard to take a leap of faith, in every conceivable sense of the phrase. He may not be a man who found much to believe in, but he always had and always would believe in Jim Kirk.

Leonard rolled his eyes in a show of feigned exasperation, but not bothering to suppress one of his rare smiles, he stepped forward towards the center on the stage. Making sure to keep his eyes locked squarely on Jim's uncertain gaze, Leonard loudly called out, "Things that his doctor might say back? I love you, too, Jim."

 

_


End file.
